Saturday, September 29, 2012

Gym anxieties

If you've been keeping up with my very limited blogging lately you'd know that I'm spending a lot of time on the road for work lately AND trying to get back into working out post-mono. It's even tougher to do when you don't have a really regular routine, but I'm determined to do it. However, this involves taking me out of my comfort zone.

I wanted to write this post last Thursday, but unfortunately due to connectivity issues at my hotel I was unable to get my iPad online. Borderline devastating for me...ha I'm too tied to technology!

Anyway, here's how things played out.

Sunday I decided that I was going to the gym at least once while I was traveling this past week so I made sure to pack my gym sneakers and gym clothes. Because of the gym sneakers, I actually had to move to a larger suitcase so that I could fit work clothes too, which meant I could no longer get away with not checking a bag.

Monday - worked late, no gym
Tuesday - took a walk and found 24 hour fitness center at my Aloft, but was disappointed to see that it was card access only behind a locked door and no glass windows in. This means I would have no way of casually scoping out if the gym was 100% in use (just 2 bikes, 2 treadmills, and 2 ellipticals).
Wednesday - worked late again, no time for gym
Thursday - I was able to wrap up work relatively early on Thursday and I decided that the gym was going to happen.

It's funny how we let our minds get to us though. I got back to my room and changed into my gym clothes and had all of these thoughts running through my mind. All of these insecurities.

What if I get to the gym and it's full? Will everyone look at me? Will I leave? WHAT WILL I DO? Will they know this is my first time here? I'm going to look like such an idiot, I won't even know where all of the machines are. Man I really wish I had the lay of the land walking into this. What if people judge me? They'll look at me and see a fat girl who is trying to get in shape and probably laugh at me in the midst of lots of fit people.

I really hope I'm not the only one who goes through this, who has these destructive thoughts anytime they embark on a new fitness adventure in unfamiliar territory. Perhaps it'd be better if I was used to regularly working out in front of people, but I'm just not, I have a home gym that I love and aside from the occasional yoga class there's not a need for me to go anywhere new.

Anyway, the point is, all of my thoughts were just complete CRAZINESS. Who cares. Looking back at it it's almost laughable to think that these silly thoughts were almost enough to prevent me from going to the gym. But really, at the end of the day, I had to remind myself that I don't care what anyone else thinks about me except for me. And I knew the pride I would have after a killer workout would more than exceed the anxiety and insecurity leading up to it.

So I went. I just stopped thinking, put on my gym clothes, and went. There were two guys in there lifting weights, but I had every single cardio machine for my picking. I walked in like I owned the place and grabbed the far elliptical, as if I had done it every other evening. And then I got in the zone and put in a killer workout for the next hour. And I felt GREAT! Last time I worked out (September 4th), it gave me a major case of exhaustion, so I decided the mono probably needed a bit more time, but Thursday I just felt so strong and awesome, and those feelings carried over into Friday. Looking forward to establishing a more steady routine when I go back to that Aloft on Monday!!


  1. Good for you! I hate when I'm in the middle of working out and have a body shame attack. I stopped a run the other week. Try and try again.

  2. You are not alone. I used to think that when I went to the gym and compare myself to other people...often muscly guys who of course could lift more than me. When I go for a run if someone is coming past me I'm always like I must look super fit and awesome and healthy and not slow down.

    Well done for getting over your anxieties. You come first. You have to put yourself first and not care what people think :) x

  3. 1. No you're not the only one with these thoughts, and
    2. I'm so glad you had a good workout!! :)

  4. I've suffered with gym anxieties but there is one short phrase that I keep in my head which gets me through.

    "F*ck it!"

    It works everytime.